& the many ways in which I fail it
My 6 minute morning meditation practice (allegedly) helps with anchoring my day and promotes my overall well-being.
Except I seem to be failing it non-stop of late. What happens is I just assume the correct pose and pretend to concentrate on my breath,
while instead I am:
Thinking of that perfect-bodied couple I saw next to whom my boyfriend and I would probably look like stuffed vine-leaves / Thinking I really need to revert to the body I had 20 years ago / Thinking of my friend lying powerless in a hospital bed / Thinking of the unsolicited, out of line request some acquaintance threw at me in the early hours / Reciting mantras for motivation (I am building the best version of myself etc…) then remember now is not the right time for this and concentrating on breath for 5 seconds / Thinking of a (thoughtful) social media mention I have to acknowledge / Thinking of the artist I really want in my project and have failed to contact for lack of nailing the perfect pitch / Thinking of the bloody markers that are not arriving from Poland thus completely hindering progress of said event / Thinking of the logistics of this all / Reciting more motivation mantras (I am becoming a beacon of enlightenment etc…) – again, not the right moment, so on with concentrating on breath for 3 seconds / Thinking of that waste-of-money manicure that self-destructed after 2 days / Thinking I may be underperforming as a daughter, sister, partner and friend / Thinking I really must try one week without complaining / Thinking of that damn marker again / Mantras anew (I am of divine origin, with unlimited capabilities…) – yeah, I know, let’s focus on breathing, there go 6 full seconds / Thinking I want to see more friends than I have days available / Thinking I have devoted zero time to the outline of my new book, expected in the upcoming progress meeting / Thinking I really want daily chocolate and HTF is this going to work with needing to shed 2 kilos, now / Thinking f*ck all that, I am really tired and let whatever be.
And on it goes…
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