Life Goals

A humble wish list

Much like everybody else you have a list of things you want to change. They have been stagnating for a while and they need to be taken care of. You fantasize you will tackle them now, during your grand exit.

The listings are relatively banal and at the same time of paramount importance.

Lovely animal prints at Jealous East Gallery

It’s dozens of this & thats but it can be boiled down to 5 & 1 basic categories:

– Becoming a better person
– Redesigning your career
– Becoming body perfect
– Sorting out your finances
– Finding love

The & 1 is the most important of all: stop being miserable

But this one is not on the list anymore because you are already happy that you are gone. You left because you couldn’t breathe. Because you couldn’t stand watching everything collapse in front of you day by day. Because you got sick of your depressed friends, your hateful colleagues, your acidic facebook timeline. Sick of watching your inspiration, libido and will-power shrink to zero. Even writing this makes you flinch. But it is all fading memories now – or even better, just memories of fading memories. The distance has wiped it all clean. You can now breathe, your lungs are those of a non-smoker!

So you are off to a good start by tackling the biggie.

Yoshitomo Nara don’t remember exactly where but in Mayfair

Now, and in no specific order, it is on to:

To be precise, you mean becoming the best possible version of yourself. Both on a personal level and in relation to the world. Inside and out. This encompasses everything, from being nicer to toddlers to reading more critical essays and, frankly, the sub-list is never-ending. But it is not just about ticking things off. It is about evolving. An on-going quest you have been pursuing for a while now, to super-satisfactory results. And you want more of that.

Jeff Koons at Newport Street Gallery

Theoretically, your career is fine. Except it has started to bore you senseless, becoming less gratifying by the minute. You have chosen this career precisely because it excited you. You have sacrificed so much for it -from peace of mind & stability to a couple of weddings, and everything in between- that if you pull out you loose everything you have put in. But with the excitement gone you are tempted to let it go up in flames. In truth, the very concept of the word “career” is starting to sound ridiculous. You feel the need to try new things and new contexts. Surely you have other talents as well, or, a novel thought: maybe you don’t need to be talented all the time.

Giacometti and Yves Klein else at Gagosian Gallery

You have grown to hate your body and at the same time, paradoxically, doing nothing to address the situation. You are 45, rarely exercise, never say no to a late night burger & fries and live mostly on a chair, in front of a computer screen. Your main problem is the lack of incentive. You realize the incentive is you. And it doesn’t need to be perfect  – not wanting to puke every time you look at yourself in the mirror will do nicely. You know it can happen, and fast, if you put in the effort, but exactly because of that you keep postponing it. Soon you’ ll have to put your money where your mouth is. The clock is ticking on this one.

Alex Katz at the Serpentine Gallery

This feels like an intimidating one but, in truth, you think it is probably the easiest. Either way, you have to fix it.  It doesn’t matter that you are in the middle of a global financial crisis. For the sake of all the holidays and all the beauty treatments and all the designer bags out there. And to make the life of others easier. And because it is pathetic. And there are literally so many ways to do it. Let’s compose ourselves here and think big.

Hayden Kays at Jealous East

Ideally, finding your soulmate. You turn a blind eye to the fact that you haven’t found him in the past 45 years. And to the fact that you thought you’d found him 5 or 6 times already but then it was all “oops”. You even turn a blind eye to the fact that you don’t believe in soulmates any more. You appreciate your own company more than anyone else’s. Still, you feel the need to share. You have to find the one. If not, at least find a good one in each city?

D*Face at Stolen Space Gallery

You don’t have a major plan on how to address all these and, clearly, there is some wishful thinking involved. You feel confident but at the same time a little on edge. You have taken your first steps but are you progressing fast enough? Are you attacking things head-on?

Does it even matter?

The lazy bastard inside you – the one you are trying to leave behind- is almost scared of a prospective success.  The other self aims for the entire menu. Another voice will secretly be ecstatic if you tackle half of the goals, maybe even one third.

You want to settle the above and at the same time you want to feel comfortable being a fat, talentless, nobody who is just loved by an equally nobody someone, and they just cook meals and go on holidays and do stupid things together.
You think this could signify utter success.

You could say you are confused.
You are possibly a closet romantic.

Looks like Faile but don’t think so at Lights of Soho

Ideas on how to proceed are welcome 🙂

I have illustrated this post with photos I took between April – June in Galleries in London.

Main Image: The London Police, “All at Sea” show, Stolen Space Gallery

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Marsha says:

    Wow is it January 1st already! This year has just flown by. And I haven’t lost 30 pounds yet. Where has the time gone? Yikes! 🙂 Just kidding, you hit the nail on the head. We all work on these things – even when we are 20 years older. Yikes again! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Claire says:

    Hi Alex, I agree with Ida. Few years ago, when I was at the bottom of my life I took some time alone and tried to ask the universe the good questions, the real ones. I started to make a wish list according to my deep needs in life. LOVE – meeting a man with specific qualities I specially need : joyful, caring, sensitive… DONE :-). CAREER : I needed to enlarge my daily tasks with more creative things to do and more communication with people. I’ve started to travel a lot and meet people all over the planet. DONE 🙂 – BODY : I’ve always had a bad look at myself even young with twenty kilos less. Today, I don’t consider myself as fat (even if I’m a bit), I enjoy eating good things and try as possible to eat healthy things (I love cooking), I go to the swimming pool when I’m courageous several times a week in the morning, and when I’m not courageous, I enjoy giving me more time in bed in the morning. I use to tell people about my shape : hey guys, I’m in 3D now :-). Be nice with you and ask the real questions to the universe… you’ll have an answer for sure. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very inspiring, sounds like you totally nailed it Claire! Happy for you and also working on it myself 😀


  3. Ida Auclond says:

    Take each goal and make a road map to get to it. Take it one small step at a time. Make each step concrete: don’t aim to lose weight. Aim to do 30 minutes of sport 3 times a week. Or if that sounds too hard, aim for a daily 15 minutes walk. You can’t fail unless you give up.

    You want to meet someone? You can’t just make that kind of thing happen. What you can do is sign up for match making websites. Or you can taking up an activity that makes you meet the kind of men you’re interested in. I met my husband in a martial arts class.

    Think concrete. Think specific. Don’t look at the mountain you want to reach, look at the path leading there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So right. This is more or less how it plays in my mind. I just wanted to out it out there in its core form!

      Liked by 1 person

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